


let him go

by amybri2002



Series: soulmate september [22]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Soulmate AU, Virgil Leaves The Dark Sides, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26601286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amybri2002/pseuds/amybri2002
Summary: After Virgil leaves the Dark Sides, Janus attempts to talk to him one last time, a final goodbye.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: soulmate september [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905379
Comments: 3
Kudos: 77





	let him go

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: when you close your own eyes, you can see what your soulmate sees.

Virgil was trying his best to keep his eyes open, trying to ignore it all, but it was getting harder and harder, and he knew that at some point he would slip. He’d left a few days ago, hadn’t spoken to anyone, just sat alone in the Imagination, trying to stay alert, trying not to think about what once was. But he was tired, and knew that at some point he’d have to rest his eyes, have to...

He shook his head and splashed some water on his face, in an attempt to wake himself up. But in doing so, he only managed to close his eyes again, and caught a glimpse of what he’d left behind, what he had caused. Janus alone in his room, tears falling out his eyes, clutching his pillow, in darkness. Remus knocking on his bedroom door and coming inside, comforting him, only for Janus to lash out, and for Remus to leave. A picture of Virgil on the floor, torn to shreds, red marker scribbled over his face.

He’d messed up, yeah. He knew that. Things hadn’t been going well for a while. Virgil didn’t agree with what Janus was trying to do, and whilst he loved Janus, loved him so, so much, he just couldn’t go on like that, couldn’t just let his plans carry out. He needed to get to the others, help them, warn them. Janus had told him that they wouldn’t listen, that they’d kick him out, that they’d hate him, that everyone would hate him. Because why wouldn’t they? What was there to like about him?

...that was the part that stung the most. _Why would anyone like him?_ Janus had made it seem as though _he_ hated Virgil as well, which...

He opened his eyes and tried not to think, instead opting to walk around the Imagination again. He knew that the others would be found on the other side, in the other part of the Mindscape, but Virgil had no idea how long it would take him to find it, how long it would take him to reach them, how long they’d even allow him to stay. He’d been there before, of course, on missions for Janus, but never had to travel himself. He always just came out into the real world, and sometimes the others would take him into the Mind Palace, but... 

He sighed. It would be a long journey, a hard journey, but perhaps that would be a good thing. Perhaps it would give him time to think, time to forget about all that had just happened.

~*~

Four days, and Janus came out of his room, wearing a fresh pair of clothes and a new expression on his face, a stubborn determination. He was going to speak to Virgil. He’d screwed up, he knew that. It wasn’t as though they hadn’t had arguments before, but...

That one had been particularly bad, and Janus wasn’t sure how he could have stopped it. He knew now, of course. He needed to find Virgil, apologise, and... let him go. Let him live his own life.

That was the weird thing about love. You want to keep them close, keep them to yourself, but eventually you realise they’re their own person, with their own goal in mind, and sometimes the best thing that one can do it let them go. Janus loved Virgil, and he wanted him to be happy, and... well, if he wasn’t happy here, then so be it. He needed to find happiness for himself.

But Janus wanted to see him, one last time. Let them leave on good terms. Make it clear that Virgil would be welcome back at any time, that he’d always have a home with him, that Janus would never forget him, that he’d always loved him.

He closed his eyes and saw where Virgil was - the Imagination, walking through a forest, one the two had been in together many times before. Their first date spent amongst those trees, a picnic that Janus had so carefully crafted, the afternoon sun leaving warm spots on their skin, filtered through the leaves. He wished things could be like that again.

After opening his eyes again, Janus set off, running to that spot, desperate to see his soulmate for perhaps the last time. When he arrived, Virgil was sat on a rock, shaking, dark circles under his eyes that weren’t just fabrications created from makeup, a terrified look. A sad look, when he noticed Janus, and then angry, a glare. A silent message, warning Janus to retreat, knowing that he wouldn’t.

“Look, Virgil, I-“

“Leave me the fuck alone,” Virgil snapped, staring back at the ground. He closed his eyes for a second, before immediately opening them, concern spreading across his face. “I...”

“Please just hear me out,” Janus requested, begged almost.

There was a long silence, before Virgil shuffled to the side, still staring down at the ground. Janus took a seat next to him, resisting the urge to pull him into a hug.

“I know that we both said some things,” Janus said, “and that you’re upset. I am too. And... And I’m sorry, for everything.”

Virgil stayed silent, and that almost broke Janus’ heart.

“I’m not going to make you come back,” Janus promised. “I just want you to be happy, Virgil, and if you think you’ll be happier there, then... then I won’t stop you. But know that you’ll always have a place back-“ He stopped. He didn’t want to say the word home, because, well, it wouldn’t be Virgil’s _home_ , would it? Not anymore. Maybe it never was. “-back with me.”

Silence again. Then two arms, wrapping tightly around Janus’ waist, a face pushing into his chest. Although stiff at first, from surprise, Janus soon leant into the hug, wrapping his own arms around Virgil’s shoulders and patting them gently.

“I’ll miss you,” Janus whispered, planting a kiss on Virgil’s forehead. A moment later, Virgil drew away, standing up.

“I’ll miss you too.”


End file.
